Worn

I was asked earlier how I was doing. I answered, “tired.” What I should’ve said was, “worn.” As you read in my last post, we had a good day Tuesday. Tuesday seems like weeks ago from today. Wednesday morning, Chris woke with another high fever and significantly increased liver enzymes that have only continued to climb higher. We’ve run test and are watching him very closely to determine whether or not we’re headed back to ICU and another surgical intervention.

Chris is worn.

We started our summer off with the kids doing well at summer camp, but they have both struggled this week. Missing their daddy, their normal life, their friends, their teachers, it’s just been a little too much for them both to bear. Ella spent over an hour tonight sobbing at bedtime because she misses her daddy.

My kids are worn.

I was asked to read Isaiah 43: 1b-2a earlier this week. It reads:

“When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned”

It reminded me of a passage I read earlier this week in Daniel 3. Daniel 3 is the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Long story short, these 3 are summoned to King Nebuchadnezzar after refusing to worship his statues. The king is so infuriated he has them thrown into a fiery furnace whose temperature has been increased 7x just because he’s that angry at them. But before he does, he asks the men if they have anything to say or are willing to change and now bow down to him. Here is their response in Daniel 3:17-18:

“ If we are thrown into the flaming furnace, our God is able to deliver us; and he will deliver us out of your hand, Your Majesty. 18 But if he doesn’t, please understand, sir, that even then we will never under any circumstance serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have erected.”

What I loved about this response is that they say..1-God is ABLE to rescue them. 2-God WILL rescue them..3-BUT EVEN IF HE CHOOSES NOT TO, they will still serve God and not the king. If you’ve read it, then you know a short time later, they are tied up and thrown into the furnace where the fire is so hot it immediately kills the guards that threw them into the furnace. We then read that the king sees not 3, but 4 men walking around in the furnace untouched. In the king’s astonishment, he commands Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego to come out of the furnace at once. (this alone must have been an interesting conversation. Personally, I wonder what would’ve happened if the 3 had said, ‘no we’re good here.’) Daniel 3: 27b tells us what happens next when they walked out of the furnace:

“the fire hadn’t touched them—not a hair of their heads was singed; their coats were unscorched, and they didn’t even smell of smoke!”

The reason I bring this up is I DO feel like we are currently walking through a fiery furnace that’s been turned up 7x hotter than normal. I believe that the things that have entangled our family kept us tied up and unable to go where God is calling us are being burned up in this fire and that we WILL walk out of this unscorched and not even the smell of smoke will be detected. While things again look tenuous for Chris, I believe that God IS with us and we WILL not get burned because He IS ABLE and WILL deliver us through this. While none of this makes days like today necessarily easier or brings comfort to a not quite 4 year-old who just misses her daddy, it does give this WORN wife and momma the encouragement that I will see REDEMPTION WIN and the STRUGGLE END

https://youtu.be/UUEy8nZvpdM