'Knowing God'-My Chief Priority
Have you ever read something that just hit you over the head so hard you needed to stop reading..and just re-read the same passage over and over again until it seeped into your soul?
That was my experience yesterday as I was reading Priscilla Shirer's book "Discerning the Voice of God." Here are just a few snippets from chapter 9.
"Could it be that you're having trouble discerning God's voice because you've somehow bypassed the need to know who He really is? Have you been 'voice hunting' more than 'God hunting'? Has knowing His will taken precedence over just knowing Him? What I've often wanted to know most from God are the details-where He wants me to go, what He wants me to do, even what He wants to do for me! I've been guilty of seeking God's direction and blessing more than I seek Him.If you no longer seek Him with 'all your heart' when things get difficult, this is an indication that you're more interested in what you expect Him to do for you than in simply knowing Him."
As I sat in Chris's hospital room yesterday reading this, I felt the sting of truth slapping me across the face. How much of my walk is rooted in my needs and not really about knowing God? When was the last time I sought God just because I loved Him and because I wanted to learn more about Him-not with a hidden agenda of what I wanted Him to do for me? When was the last time I spent time in the Word just to understand God better and not seeking an answer to MY problem? When was the last time I wanted to spend time with Him quietly & patiently waiting for Him to speak; instead of my spewing out all of my needs and concerns and my list of demands? When was the last time I wasn't hurried or rushed in my time with God, when I wasn't 'checking off a to do box' but was completely present with Him? Content. Quiet. Ready to Listen. Sitting at His feet just because I loved Him.
When was the last time I sought God like that?
Thinking of this, made me wonder, when was the last time I sought my husband or my kids or my friends like that-fully present where my feet were. Not mentally thinking ahead to what's next or what went wrong 5 min before..but fully engaged without an agenda, just present, content, happy, just because I loved them and wanted to know them better?
When was the last time I sought those I loved like that?
This morning I find myself, for the first time since March 1, sitting in my office and wondering what God has planned for my life next. I've decided to take advantage of this time in the hospital and am going to spend it seeking God. No agenda..not even seeking his next steps, but seeking Him. Trusting that as I know Him more, "hearing Him happens." That "when knowing God is {my} chief priority, He will reveal truths about Himself-His personality & His plans-that will point {me}toward the paths {I} should take."